Impostor Syndrome
Impostor syndrome, the idea that you’ve only succeeded due to luck rather than your own talent and skill is something that plagues so many women in technology. It’s so prevalent that you actually learn about it in EECS 280. If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t deserve your success, you probably have experienced impostor syndrome. In fact, even us on E-Board deal with it.
Last week, Vanita Sharma, President, spoke up about her impostor syndrome in the latest Human of GEECS post on Instagram (@geecs_umich). She said “I think my impostor syndrome peaked in winter semester freshman year, after I took 280 and 203. I left that semester feeling ‘wow, I am not fit for CS.’ What I didn’t know was that many people struggled with those two classes - it is a very normal thing. I thought that stressful semester reflected an inability to succeed in CS for the rest of college.” Vanita continued to feel overwhelmed specifically in 281 but she then opened up to the previous GEECS E-Board. She said “they reassured me that they had felt the same way and that these struggles are normal for everyone. Just hearing this encouragement from such smart, talented women made me feel much less stressed. Over time, this community at GEECS lessened my impostor syndrome. And it still comes at times, it’s just about feeling like you’re in it together with others and not alone.”
I’ve felt it too. I had to retake EECS 280 and I spent the semester feeling like a fake CS major, like a fraud. Even when I would do well or understand concepts in class, I thought it was just because I was retaking the class or that those concepts were easy, that everyone understood so at the bare minimum, I should too. I still feel that way today. Even though I ended up succeeding in the course and doing well, I justified it by saying that it was because that was when COVID hit and that the course got “easier.” I never believed in myself or felt proud of my accomplishments.
Hearing that others experience these same feelings has helped me so much, along with adopting a growth mindset (we will be doing a post on this soon)! Computer science is incredibly difficult and we don’t celebrate our wins enough. We attribute those wins to luck when in reality, we put hundreds of hours in and worked so hard. These are our successes. It’s not good fortune; it’s us.